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Desmoplastic Small Round Cell Tumor
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MY BATTLE

November 20, 2002


I received the most horrible news I have ever received. I have a large tumor on my liver!! I was so stunned I couldn’t think straight, I drove myself to the hospital for what I thought would be something little. I had to call my mother to come get me, I could not keep my crying under control. 

Nov.22,2002

By Friday I was in Detroit (harper hospital) seeing a surgeon. Who by the way was a miracle worker. He confirmed my tumor and scheduled a surgery for Dec. 2nd, he wanted me to enjoy Thanksgiving. I was unaware of my outcome, and scared to think what was going to happen to my children, who would raise them etc... I thought I was looking death in the eyes.

 Dec. 2,2002

 My first surgery, my doc came into my room at 6 am and told me he was afraid the tumor was actually invading my stomach and pancreas area, so with an hour to go to surgery you can imagine what was going through my mind. The surgery took 8 hours to complete. He had to remove 60% of my pancreas,10% of my stomach , a blood vessel, and 50 smaller tumors. I awoke in intensive care. I had 3 small drains connected to me that was draining fluid from my pancreas,(very painful),and I had insicion from mid-drift to just below my rib cage. I was in intensive care for 5 days and I had 2 blood transfusions. When I was on a regular floor I still had problems and encounter more. My second surgery was a week after I was in a private room. I had multiple blood clots in my left leg. So off to the operating room again!!!! I had to have a filter put in my main blood vessel so that the clot would not travel to my lungs and heart. 

December 24, 2002

Thankfully I was discharged the 24th, of December but I still went home with the drains in my side.Had a wonderful christmas dinner that my mom cooked.( I am usually the cook for the holidays) Enjoyed seeing my children open their gifts. I was so glad to be out of that hospital.

December 26th, 2002

I encountered problems with those drains and was admitted again. I was there until Jan 1st this time, and still was sent home with those drains.

January 21st, 2003

My final surgery was Jan 21st. You see my doc could not take all the cancer out of me the first time due to the time factor of the first surgery, so I had to come back when I was healed from the first one. Well this surgery consist of a total hysterectomy, and to reroute my drains. Instead of them draining on the outside of me they are now draining on the inside of me from my pancreas to my large intestine. I was in intensive care this time for a total of 11 days, with 1 transfusion and 6 bags of plasma.

February 13th, 2003

Finally was released from the hospital .

I haven't started chemo yet. The reasoning for the delay is because my insicion was not stitched up, the doc left it opened to heal from inside out. I had to change dressings 3 times a day. He thought this was best because of fear of infection. So while waiting to heal I had to prolong treatment.Then came a root canal!! So that prolonged even more, had to be on an antibiotic, almost done with that. My oncology doctor in Detroit has referred me to another in Flint. His name is Dr. Arora. I see him on March 26. 

March 26,2003

Well doc visit went well, I am to start chemo on April 7th the day after my sons 12th birthday.I have a appt. on April 1st for chemo class, April 3rd for heart test, and April 4th for another ct scan and I will be reciving a call to have a central port put in me. As the day nears I am becoming more and more scared. God help me.

April 1,2003

Went to my chemo class today. So much information. I was overwhelmed. They gave me information on the chemo that will be used,and wrote me prescriptions for the nausea that will accompany the chemo. I will list the medications under medications administered, and have links to each medication under links.I have a busy week ahead of me, tomorrow I have to have my pre-admisson testing done for surgery on sat. They are putting a BardPort in me(I also have a link describing what that is on links page.) Thursday I have to have a heart test done and friday I have to get another ct scan done for the doctors to compare to after my chemo starts.

April 5,2003

Today is the day I have the port put in. I have been extremly busy up till this point. Had all my tests done now I wait for all the results. I also had a little bit of excitement on the 3rd I went to my first hockey game. Its mikies b-day the 6th so I decided to take him to see the RedWings. BOy was it fun. They won 5-2, and I was able to go downstairs to try and get a glimpse of some of them, got a few autographs mainly from the New York Islanders, but I did manage to grab up Kris Drapers and Luc Robitaille for my son thank you guys for taking the time out for your fans. I had a great time. Thank you Dan for carting me around that night and doing all of my footwork. Well off to the hospital I go, I have to be there at 10:30.

April 6,2003

Surgery went great. When I came home I decided to get sick. I threw up at least 5 times before I decided to call the doc. He said I must be having an allergic reaction to the antibiotic they had given me prior to the surgery. He said to take 50 mg of benadryl. I did and did not get sick anymore, matter of fact after taking those and the pain pill,I was out for the night. Slept great. Today is my son mikies b-day. He is 12, wow where the heck did all those baby years go? They grow up way to fast. One of his presents was the hockey game. I also got him a new hockey bag, hockey pants, and hockey socks. He is playing spring hockey this year so I figured he should have new ones to sart with. Tomorrow is the day. Chemo starts.... I am so nervous of the outcome, wish I could see into the future. everyone please keep praying for me.

April 9 ,2003

Just a brief note to let everyone know Im ok. Started first round of chemo and everything is going great so far. The main thing is the extreme tiredness but its not so much as sleepy tired but a restless tired.When I am thinking a bit more clearly I will add more.

April 15th-18th 2003

Well I am ended up in the hospital these few days due to my wbc counts were extremely low and was running a fever of 101.2-102. I had also got a yeast infection in the mouth which is very painful. Was realsed at 1:00 pm today the 18th, and admitted tuesday at 9:30, I am so glad to be home. But it is not by far over yet. My next round of chemo which is scheduled to start on April 28th sounds pretty rough. Five straight days of it. I was so tired the first round with just one day of chemo I cant imagine what 5 days is gonna do to me. I will keep you posted. Thank you for your continued prayers.

April 23,2003

Today I am feeling rather good. I am not tired finally. I am loosing my hair though, started loosing it about 3 days ago. Some say I should just shave it all off. I suppose I should so that Im loosing it on my time but I just dont have the heart to do that yet. It is so messy trying to take a bath. It gets stuck to my hands all over the bathtub etc... Ive decided to wash my hair every other day. Bye for now.

April 25, 2003

My hair is coming out quicker and more of it. I think its time to make a visit to the shaver. I cant stand this anymore. I cant even cook without it getting everywhere. I bought me a slumber cap yesterday to help with hair flying everywhere, it helped but once I took it off to take a shower, hair all over the place again. I am ready for no hair I knew this would come, I have 3 different wigs and tons of caps, why is it I am having such a hard time letting it go. Bye for now.

APR. 27,2003

Well I Did it, I Shaved my head. Couldnt stand the hair everywhere, and I wasnt about to let the chemo take it, had to go on my terms. I feel really strange with no hair, but I will get use to this. Im finding myself alot colder(Didnt realize how much heat stays at your head). Tomorrow  is the start of a 5 day treatment of chemo. I am not being admitted to the hospital so I am a little nervous. I am sure everything will go well. Bye for now.

April 28th- May 2nd

Chemo for 5 days went rather well for the first 3 days on the fourth day it decided to cause trouble.I decided to faint on that day. I fainted after i was through with chemo, blood pressure dropped to 65/43 due to lack of hydration fluids, so in other words to much meds and not enough water washing the meds out. But other than that things went well. Tomorrow is my b-day I'll be 31. To think I would end up with such a horrible disease. With that note I'd like to add a quote from a guy that a woman named camille in pennslvania sent me  "Faith means trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse" -- Philip Yancey, Thank you camille that brightened my day. Bye for now.

May 9th 2003

Im feeling rather good today, went and got my shot this morning, took my friend Sherry with me and we went out to breakfast , went to the mall and did some banking. Very busy day. We went to the mall to buy bathing suits but..... nothing looked right so instead we walked out of there with new earings on our ears. Matching sets. Two hearts connecting each other, very pretty. My mothers day gift to myself, plus all the clothes I bought myself yesterday. I couldnt help it Ive lost sooo much weight that nothing fits anymore, for the first time in 12 years I actually felt good about looking at myself in the mirror. I feel like a new woman. I am suppose to start another round of chemo around the 23rd of may, so far everthing is going well, for the past couple of days I have had the most terrible heartburn. The nurses at the cancer center say it is the chemo that is causing it. Nothing is relieving it. I have to wait till Monday before I can get a prescription. Its gonna be a long weekend. Well bye for now.

May 11, 2003

Happy Mothers Day to every mother out there!!! Enjoy your kids today and let them pamper you. Its our special day. Bye for now.

May 28,2003

Hi all I am still here, I have just been enjoying myself, children and the weather. Had my third cycle of chemo today and it went well, now I have a week to basically sleep. It is not so bad I keep waiting for the worse to happen and it hasnt yet. Bye for now.

May 31,2003

I have just returned home. From where you might ask? The hospital. May 29th I decided to spike a fever. Not to bad just 100.3. Called my doc and he said to come on in. So off I went and almost as soon as I got there my fever was alost back to normal. I had no infections good news. My mother and I have learned how to give my injections to keep my white blood cells up, so that is 10 days I dont have to go to the cancer center. Yipee. Its a 1/2 hour drive which isnt too bad, its just time consuming. I can think of alot of different other things to do. Bye for now.

July 4,2003

Wow didnt realize I havent updated in awhile. So much has happen since the last time I wrote. I have been in the hospital twice. Once for a fever, the other for an infection. I ended up with a staph infection by my scar from my surgeries. The Doctors had to make a small inscision to drain the infection. All went well , but they told me that the ct scan showed another mass. I didnt think nothing of it that at the time. 2 weeks later I was to see Dr. Saha, he is the oncology surgeon my chemo Dr. referred me to. Dr. Saha told me indeed there was a mass on my pancreas again 6 cm big. He said it would not benefit me to have surgery because the cancer came back to the orginal site. I couldnt believe what I was hearing. Basically that the chemo was not working was what I gathered and I started to get angry. I was ready to stop the chemo and live a some what normal life again. When I got home I called Dr Fromm he is the orginal Dr who found all my tumors. I wanted his opinion. Yesterday I went and seen him and boy was I glad I did. When I had problems with my fistula drains he had to reroute them so that they would drain out through my intestines. When he did that he pulled my lg intestines to reach my pancreas so they would drain. That is the mass that the other Dr is seeing. Dr Fromm is scheduling an MRI to prove this but I am confident that this is the case. He said if I had another tumor in there that big he would be able to feel it, and he cant. So I can put my mind at ease for a bit and think that the chemo is working and all this is worth it.Everyone have a wonderful Fourth of July. Bye for now. 

July 29th

Everything is going good since my last treatment. My rbc is finally low enough for my insurance to approve Procrit for me. What a difference that makes, I actually have a little energy. Well since I last wrote I had my MRI in detroit and the doctor has called me to let me know the outcome. Good news its not on my pancreas, bad news its on my lymph nodes by my pancreas. Doc says he thinks he can safely remove them but ........ it is a very big and risky operation. I could loose alot of blood or he would have to tie off a main artery that would lead to constant leg swelling but otherwise he would be able to remove them. When is the next question. He wants to do another ct scan in aug. to see if the chemo has shrunk any of the tumors and I think he'll go from there. Wait Wait Wait.......... This has been one waiting game after another. For those of you who know me I havent been a patient girl lately. I hope all this waiting produces good news for me. Hope........ I know is the key word. Some days it is very hard to find. Bye for now.

Aug 31,2003

Hi all sorry for the delay in updates, I have a son who is a computer freak and it is very hard for me to find  a free moment. Now that school has started the computer will be free during the day. I took the family up north this past weekend. We went to Grayling and stayed in my friend Sherry's cabin. We had a very nice time. Thank you Sherry for putting up with us. I had my ct scan done. Good news is nothing is growing and there aren't anymore tumors, but the ones that are there aren't shrinking. So Dr. Fromm wants to do another ct scan in 3 months to see if they are shrinking any and plan on surgery from there. It should be right around Dec and I refuse to have any surgery done in Dec. again. I want to be home for Christmas. I go in for another course of chemo on wednesday, I cant wait till chemo is done. Well bye for now and everyone have a wonderful Labor Day.

Sept 8th ,2003

Not too much going on here, trying to stay busy. Went through my youngest sons toys yesterday, well some of them. He has sooo many that they ae starting to invade my space. He has this nasty habbit of taking them apart so I have little pieces of cars all over the place too. Im not sure whats broke or whats good. I think he is going to be my mechanic when he grows up. Hockey and soccer season started that means lots of running. Josh has a soccer game at 6 tonight and Mikie has hockey practice at 5:30 about 20 miles apart. So Im going to miss one of them. I had to make a desicion the other day about Mikie playing soccer. He loves the game and he is very good at it, but last year we started to notice his knees were having problems. I took him to the ortopedics and they say he has something wrong with the way his knee caps are lined up and also something with his growth plate, so they wanted to try these braces to wear while playing sports(mainly while he is running). We tried them and they make him hurt worse. They cost me 48 dollars for the set. So he decided he is going to take a year off and hopefully the docs can help him out. Hes been playing since he has been 4 and hes 12 now so it is really upsetting to see this happen. I volunteered to work at the book fair today at Joshua's school, he always wants me to buy him books from there but do you think I can get him to read them afterwards. Heck no!!! They are changing my procrit to aranesp.  It lasts longer so now instead of every week to get an injection its every two weeks. Well enough for now. Bye.

Oct. 2nd,2003

Hi all wish I could say everything has been fine on my end but I cant. I was in the hospital again. My white blood and red blood cells were low and I had a blood infection. I had to spend 2 nights in intensive care and recieved 3 pts of blood. I was in the hospital a total of 5 days and was sent home on IV antibiotics for 7 days, it was awful I had a nurse come for a couple of days to show me how to do it and then I was on my own. The part that was awful was the diarhea the medicine caused. Then to top it off I took a fall down my stairs from top to bottom every last stair hurt my tailbone pretty bad and skinned both of my feet. My chemo has been delayed for 2 weeks now(Im not really complaining about that part I have enjoyed the break) I start chemo back up on Monday if my blood cultures come back ok. You see they are thinking that my port is infected and if that is the case they are going to have to remove it and place another one in me. I hope not. Goodness I can not beleive it is Oct already, time sure does fly. Next month will be a year since all this has started. I cant wait to get back to normal and for all this to be behind me. Bye for now.

Nov. 25, 2003

Hi everyone Im still here, been in the hospital again my counts were low. I had to get more blood. Two more bags of packed rbc's, this keeps up I swear I wont have any of my own blood left in me. Im so thankful for all those who donate blood. Well 5 days ago was the year anniversary of my first cat scan. Time has gone by soooo fast, not sure where it went to. I have 3 more rounds of chemo to do and have a cat scan scheduled for tomorrow that will determine when I have more surgery to remove the rest of this god awful tumor! Everyone please pray for me, Im hoping for the best. Thanksgiving is here and Christmas is right around the corner, I hardly have any shopping done. It is very hard to do, Im so tired all the time and have no energy. Im so sick and tired of being tired all the time, but I do know that this will pass soon. I just wish it would happen sooner than later, such a long road I have traveled and Im not seeing an end to it yet. Im thankful Im still here though and that I have one more day with my children, family and wonderful friends. I will beat this!!!!!! I know I will. Bye for now and have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Dec. 4th 2003

Well the doctor called said my scans were stable, meaning nothing has changed , no shrinking no new growths. So now I make plans for more surgery. I am waiting for Dr Fromms nurse to call me with an apptointment. Thats all I have for now. Bye for now.

Dec 11,2003

Well had my Doctors appt. yesterday. He said he wants me to finish out my chem, which is 2 more cycles. So I'll be done with chemo Jan. 30 2003, Yippee!!!! Then he wants my counts to raise and then do surgery to remove remainding tumors. So we are looking late Feb., or early March. Then after that Im not sure whats going to happen. One step at at time. Thats all for now, bye.

Jan. 31, 2004

First off I want to say my chemo is done for the moment. I have had a horrible month. My last chemo which was suppose to be Jan 26th was cancelled because of my counts being to low. I spent the week of the 18th in the hospital again. My counts were way low had to have blood. My last chemo was on Jan 5th and I am still trying to get the strength back that I long for. This is the longest it has taken me to bounce back from chemo. All i want to do is sleep or lay around on the couch. I have no energy whatsoever. Each morning I wake up and say today is gonna be different. I havent been able to keep my food down untill just a few days ago. All the things I love to do I just havent been able to do.  I have missed several of my sons Hockey games, and I hate that sooo much. Going to the grocery store exhausts me. I think its the winter blues, it is so cold outside and so much snow is on the ground. Hurry up spring come fast. Ok enough feeling sorry for myself. I am waiting for my surgeon to call me with a date for me to come see him. The next step is wait for counts to be high enough and then do the surgery to remove remainding tumors. I am not sure what the next step after that will be. One step at a time. Well Ill close for now. Ill keep you posted. 

Feb. 11th,2004

Wel I got the call this morning, my surgery is Feb. 23rd. I have got so many emotions running through my head right now. I think excitement is at the top of the list but I am also terrifed. I will get admitted to the hospital on the 22nd so all the pre op stuff gets done and then first thing monday morning Ill go under. Please everyone out there who is praying for me put me on their list that day. Ill keep you posted bye for now.

March 1st 2004

I made it home. Surgery went well, and Im doing great. Monday 6:30 am they wheel me down to the or and prepare me for surgery. By 7:15  I am ready to go and they knock me out, my mother decides this time to wait in my room because of the lengthy surgeries prior. At 10:30 I awoke and remembered asking what time it was, when they told me I was shocked at how soon I was done. All the others took at least 8-9 hours. I was starting to get scared that maybe the doctor was not able to do anything this time. The nurse was not able to tell me what they did so I waited and waited until finally at 3 they took me back to my room. It was filled with sooo many people waiting to see me. First question was did they get everything? Well my mother was not there at the moment so I had to wait again. She finally arrives and she was grinning ear to ear. She was so excited that I came through the surgery she didnt ask questions. So again I was waiting. Finally at 5:30 the next morning my doctor came in. He said he got all the tumors out. One fist size tumor and five smaller ones. I asked what was next. He said to live my life. I was concerned about chemo and he said I had aleady been through that, I didnt need anymore. He said to have a cat scan every 6 months to see how things are going. He even said I didnt need my port anymore. All this good news you think I would be excited, I dont know what to think. Im still scared. I would like to have cat scans done every 3 months and I really dont want to take my port out yet. I  have an apptointment next week to talk to my oncologists guess we will wait and see then. For now Im tumor free thank you god and for everyone out there who has done sooo much praying for me. I will try and keep up the faith and have a positive outlook to all this. Bye for now.

March 14th, 2004

Hi everyone! Just thought I'd write something short to update you. I went to my oncologists and he agrees with me we will do a cat scan every 3 months and we will leave the port in for now. Other than that I have been doing great, I have a new outlook on life. I am keeping myself busy and shopping alot. You see Ive lost 110lbs since all this mess started, I went from a size 22 to a  size 10 and it feels wonderful to wear sexy clothes again. This weekkend me and my sons and my mother in law went to southgate, Mi for my oldest sons state playoffs for hockey. They made it to the finals and took second place. Im really proud of them they have done so well this year. Well Im off to bed now, bye for now.

April 2nd,2004

Hi everyone. Spring has finally spung in my neck of the woods I think. The sun is shining and the birds are chirping. Oh and those darn box elder bugs and beetles that look like ladybugs are back. Yuck!!! Them critters get in my house and invade me sometimes. I found the out the trick to get rid of them. I spray my window sills with ant spray and they drop like flies once they crawl into it, so instead of sucking them off the ceiling I now have a pile on my floor. As you can see Im still feeling good and I am great spirits. I have been keeping myself really busy. I even joined curves. Its really fun and I am buliding my strength back. I dont need to loose anymore weight I just need to tone it up now. I would like everyone to say a prayer for 3 people in my life that have become ill. My aunt maxie from Nc has been in the hospital for some time now with a disease that is attacking her kidneys it is called good pastors disease(if anyone has any info on this please email it to me) she has had to do dialysis 3 times a week. This is a woman that has never been sick in her life and now all of a sudden shes deadly sick. I would also like to pray for my mom. Recently she had a biopsie done on her tongue. They removed a growth and will not know results for 2 weeks. Her doctor sent her to an oral surgeon to do this and fears it maybe cancer.Also my dear grandma, she is having some polyups removed on Monday and she is really scared. That cancer word will not leave my family alone. It will not beat us we are all strong woman and it runs in our blood to fight. So please send your prayers their way. Thank you so much. Tomorrow I am taking my son to an easter egg hunt, its suppose to be 50 degrees out with the sun shining so it should be a fun day. Dont forget to set those clocks ahead this weekend. I would like to end my entry today by writing a poem that I found at the cancer center written by Linda Nielsen, and I send it out to everyone that has made a difference in my life and just for being there for me.

Thank you for standing by me and lending and ear. For helping me out by just being near. Thank you for cheering me on or saying a prayer. For holding me up and showing you care.Thank you for making me laugh and giving me hope. For showing support and helping me cope. Thank you for all that you've done and all that you'll do. I am so very fortunate to have someone like you. God bless you and have a wonderful Easter. Bye for now.

April 6th,2004

Today is my oldest sons birthday and I would like to wish him a very happy birthday. He is 13 years old, wow a teenager. He has grown up so fast. I want the best for him and I hope all his dreams come true. Happy Birthday Mikie!!!!! Love you always, MOM.

April 23rd, 2004

I got the most devasting news today. My surgeon is retiring in July and moving to California. I called my mom balling. Im sure the Doctor who he  is referring me to see is great, but its just not gonna be the same. I will deaply miss you Dr. Fromm and I am so greatful for all you have done for me. Thank you. My first cat scan since the surgery is scheduled for April 30 th. I know it will be ok. Ill keep you posted. Bye for now.

April 29th,2004

Tomorrow is my cat scan, and I am nervous. I know everything will be ok though. I have been throwing up since yesterday. I have a urine infection and was put on an antibiotic call noroxin and they think that is what is making me sick, So they told me to stop taking it for now. Monday I will be 32 years old. I dont feel any older though just a little wiser.Bye for now.

May 24th,2004

My scans are in and they are clear. No signs of any tumors yet. I am so happy. Now on to the next 3 months. I will be going on vaction next month to visit my friends in Va and Nc I cant wait, now I actually can enjoy myself without having the scans hanging over my head. Thank you god. And to all my friends and family and the cyber world for praying so hard for me.Bye for now.

June 22,2004

I am having a blast on my vacation to Va. Thank you Tonya. I will remember it always. We went crabbing today in Va beach and caught 24 crabs, her son had a blast. Tomorrow we will be going to Busch Gardens, and Fri. we will be going to our nations capital and then I'll be going home on Sunday. I will write more later, bye for now.

July 27th, 2004

Hi all, Ive made it back from my trip and everything has been going well for me health wise, on the otherhand my x-boyfriend is giving me grief and my dog died today. He was a pomerian and his name was joe. He was vomitting all day yesterday and wasnt going to the bathroom. He couldnt keep water down and he wasnt eating. I took him to the vet this morning and it want good. The Doc said his kidneys and liver were shutting down and that he couldnt tell where but he had a tumor on his liver or pancreas but that it was everywhere and to treat it would be impossible and he couldnt give me more than 1 percent chance of survival. So his suggestion was to put him down. I told him I would do that but that I wanted to bring him home for tonight so that everyone could say bye to him, well no sooner I get to my car he died in my arms. Call me crazy or say it aint so, but how much of a fluke is this??????? Can it be possible that you can catch cancer from someone??? How ironic. My plate is getting pretty full God slow down a bit ok? In loving memory of Joe Joe may you rest in peace and one day soon be reunited. I Love You. Bye for now. 

Aug. 30 th,2004

Well I had a very nice weekend. My friend and his mother decided they wanted to invite me to go with them to Bristol Tennessee!!!! I had a blast. It was my second Nascar expierence, my first was the weekend before at michigan motor speedway and that was fun to, but bristol was so much better. Thank you Mike,Donna,Dan,Tim and Rhonda!!! Ill never forget it. I got my results back from my ct scan. They are still clean!!! Yippee! I am going to my Docs tomorrow and getting a note saying I can return to work and then Im going to go get my job back. Cant wait.Ive got to live life to the fullest, and I cant do that sitting on my butt waiting for a bad report!! Ill deal with that when the time comes until then Im doing what I want again. Bye for now.

Oct 10th, 2004

Funny how times flies when you're having fun! I am back to work now and I am absoutely loving it. I am just subbing and doing trips for now, but thats ok I am back doing what I love to do. I have a bit of sad news and good news to share. My grandma died Oct 3rd. The day after she turned 73, it was an awful experience. I hope I never have to watch someone die ever again. She was a wonderful lady and I will miss her dearly. She is in heaven now and she isnt suffering anymore. I will always have her in my heart, and she will forever be my guardian angel. I love you grandma. Now for the good news my brother was crowned homecoming king on Friday and his off and on again girlfriend was crowned Queen, look at my pictures I have added them to it. As for me I am doing good, I am due for another ct scan next month and deep down I know it will be ok. Bye for now.

Dec. 2, 2004

Well today is the 2 year mark. It is exactlly 2 years to the day since my very first sugery, and I feel great. Been keeping busy and working my butt off. Trying to keep the faith going is a bit hard around the holidays but I think Im doing an ok job at it. Love to all and God Bless. Bye for now.

Dec. 22,2004

To all my Friends and Family,
 
I have some awful news for all of you. My scans did not come back good this time. Apparently I have a 4.5 cm tumor in my chest between my lungs. I also have some involving alot of my lymph nodes behind my stomach, my oncologists are kinda of stumped at what to do next. I have an appoitment with my surgeon on the 7th to see what he thinks. Keep praying for me. I will keep everyone informed.
 
Love Shawn
 
March 30th , 2005
 
Hi all so sorry I haven't updated in so long my website has changed hands and it has taken until now for the change over to be complete. As for my health goes I had a Doctors apptointment today at U of M and they want to do a new cat scan to see the progress of the tumors. He also thinks that the disease is in my lymph nodes and is traveling. He is going to take my case in front of the tumor board on Wednesday and we will go from there. He feels I should go to sloan kettering or md anderson due to the fact that they have more clinical trials there, so I am at the bottom it feels like starting again from scratch. My community has put together a dance for the middle school students and they raised a little bit of money for me to help with medical bills and they are also going to host a spaghetti dinner to help also.  I want to thank all of those who helped put this on for me you guys are always there for me. Thanks. Bye for now.
 
June 28th 2005,
 
Hi all since my last post I have started a clinical trial at U of M. So far I haven't had much side effects. My Platelettes have gone from 224,000 to 88,000 since May 20. so this is an issue for me.  I also started drinking xango, its a dietary supplement I have added a link to xango on the links part of this site. Its really good actually and I think its helping with my energy levels and I am not sure about the tumor growth I'll find out in two weeks, I have a cat scan scheduled. Bye for now.
 
Oct. 5th, 2005
 
Since my last post I have had 2 scans the first showed my tumors to be stable. The one I just had on Friday showed one of my tumors to be shrinking!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was measured to be 4.2 cm it is now 3.2 cm it shrank a whole cm!!! The others are still stable no change in those and no new growth. Yipee. I can continue the trial for another cycle. It was really nice to hear such wonderful news. Oh by the way the one that is shrinking is the one that is wrapped up all around my main artery. Keep praying.... Bye for now.


Dec. 15 th You know I have such a hard time trying to help others with there problems, especially when it hits so close to home. Today I had to leave a friend in tears not knowing exactly what to say to her. I think I did an ok job at least I hope I did. When I left her I could see the faith lift from her eyes. She is a strong lady and her battle is getting tougher, so she needs more prayers. So when you close your eyes tonight think of Carol and wish her the best. She needs it. Love to you all. Bye for know.

Dec 27th, 2005 First off I want to say thank you to everyone who prayed for Carol. She looks 100 percent better. Her spirits are back, and thank you to all of those stampin up angels for your beautiful cards, she loved them. I am doing great and I had a wonderful Christmas. Thank you for all your prayers. Merry Christmas Patrick and to all those who have passed on and to their families. I think about you often. Bye for now.


Nov. 14th , 2006 Since my last post my wonderful friend Carol passed away. Her body could not fight the cancer anymore. She is in a better place I am sure and she is not suffering anymore. I miss her so. I always enjoyed her phone calls calling me Shawnie she was such a sweet and intelligent lady. Rest in piece my friend. As for me I have been great. Dec 2nd as many know will be my four year mark of having this horrible cancer. I feel better today than I felt when I was diagnoised. I am still on the clinical trial AP23573 I have been on it since June of 2005. I have had no new growth in this time and some have shrank and others remain the same. In other words its working for me. I am so thankful for this, I just wish it was available to all of my dsrct friends. I must say there are more and more of us everyday who are dying. Please open this up for all they need it. It has shown so much promise for me. Help someone else have hope. Ariad lets move on from being experimental to being approved. I want to close tonight by saying soory if I have worried anyone by not posting for so long but I thought this website was full , I added another site for a guestbook since I can't figure out how to put one back up on here it is at www.caringbridge.org/visit/shawnbidleman please sign it if you want. 

Important note:

This entire site has been set up to share my experiences and provide links and information about DSRCT. However, I am  not a Medical Professional and as such the information should only be used as a guide and for information purposes.

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School Bus Driver

I have been a school bus driver for the past three years. I enjoy every mintute of it and can't wait to get back to see my kids.

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